My son, Riley, he is nine years old. He’ll be 10 in February. I have my daughter, Olivia. She is six. She’ll be seven at the end of October.
So the first experience, what brought me to Faith House the first time was just lost. I was lost prior to, but I did meet some wonderful people at a church and I got saved. I think this is like the end of 2020 and then got baptized at the beginning of 2021. I was such a baby in Christ and church heart is real. Because I was so young in the faith, it was just like, I’m just angry. I’m confused and things like that.
In that time, I really didn’t have anywhere to go. I was lost. I was crying out for help. And somehow I got connected with Faith House. So I moved from Hagerstown to the Faith House and it was a wonderful experience. It was welcoming. I was challenged a lot, but in such a good way.
It was through Faith House that I got my job at Cary International that I’ve been with for two years, over two years now. Great, great benefit, great pay. So I’m able to pay bills and I’m able to take care of my kids and then even have a little bit left over, you know, for savings or fun and things like that. So I’m very grateful. I’m grateful for the relationships that started forming at that time.
I was married very young. I got married the day before I turned 21. So in love. And we’re so young. Their dad ended up enlisting in the military. I used to say I would never marry someone shorter than me or in the military and I did both. And it just was not what I expected it to be. This is not the person that I knew in the short time that we got together. And it was a very painful experience. We were together married together for almost five years before I left and came back to Maryland.
And it was hard for me to raise two kids by myself. I didn’t know what I was doing. We were abandoned in every way financially. And that other parent just decided not to be there. I was just exhausted trying to do all I can do and trying to heal and raise kids all by myself.
Glory to God it’s a lot different now.
I had family but they weren’t really supportive. Everyone has their own mental capacity for certain things. And it was just a lot for them to take on. And they just were not able to give me the support that I needed, the love that I needed. So you know it was hard but it was okay.
So you came to Faith House and the Thriving Futures program which I always affectionately call the main house.
Yes. The big white house. It was welcoming. The staff was so kind. But it was stressful. It was a lot of change. Very fast. I think I was in a state of just shock. Now there’s people encouraging me, okay you got to get a job. You got to do this. You got to do that. You know you can do it. And I’m just like no I can’t. I’m so overwhelmed.
But God told me through it was the love and support of not only the staff but the women who were here. And their stories and their experiences that really helped me to reach goals that I can imagine even you know doing and landing a job like this. And just deepening my relationship with Christ. It was so intricately planned. So intentional.
So in those first weeks and months getting established at Faith House and helping you find that employment. And getting a routine back in this area. You start to feel what at that point?
Once everything started coming together, I could get into routine. And routine is so important for me, not just for the kids, but for me routine is important. Being able to go to bed at a certain time. I’m like I’m so exhausted from working so hard talking to people for eight hours and then being with my kids. I go to bed at a great time. I don’t stay up late anymore. And that was even those things those little things are so healthy and so important to my growth.
And so what led you to exit Faith House at that point? You know that was not it was a good exit. Yeah. But what brought what led you to that decision.
When I came into Faith House the first time I was actually in a relationship with a man. And I will say that he let me he let me suffer for my own good. And I needed it. I was losing it. I’m trying to cope and things that were not everlasting that were actually detrimental to my mental and my spiritual health. So you know it was that tough love that he gave me. And he was like you know what I can’t just whisk you off your feet. And I can. But I don’t think it’s going to be healthy. So he was like I will be with you and I will support you. And so he did that for me. And there was some hurt in that relationship too. So we had our own struggles which led me to coming back here.
But at that time I just I wanted to do right by the Lord. I wanted to honor God and you know it was everyone has their journey with the Lord. And sometimes we lose sight of that just like I was church hurt. He was church hurt. He just lived with that a little bit longer than I did. So you know we were not in agreeance. But you know the Lord told me you trust me. You saw me. You hear me. You need to take action. And so I left and it was so hard to do that. But it was very necessary.
I had moved in with him and doing things my own way not God’s way. And so God got what he wanted and what he purposed for me to be in. It was a beautiful thing.
So when you left the house the first time it was to move in with him.
Yes. So now you are in a bit of stability. But God likes to just surprise us in ways. Sometimes we don’t even like the way he surprises us. We end up seeing how beautiful it is the plans he has for us. In this time I stuck with God through the ups and downs through the uncertainty through like just going through a metamorphosis and just like and sometimes I would be like who am I like you know or I’m not good enough for you Lord.
He has amazed me. Oh my goodness me and my tears.
We were together living together as a family and then things began to break down or the Lord said this isn’t what I want. You know what I’m going to make it so difficult because you’re not doing things right.
I see the repercussions of all these things and how Satan just he loves to just toy with our minds. You know it’s just like Lord I give it to you. It’s meant to be. You’ll let it be. And no one can stop that. But I need you. You have to be my first in my foremost. And I will be OK if it never works out.
So I came back. I actually ran in. I ran into a staff member at Walmart and I was just going through this thing with the Lord and I’m ready to leave and then I see her and then I’m like the Lord is so good. I’m ready. Who do I call.
I said Lord I will do whatever you want. And so he made it possible for me to get into an emergency shelter and I actually didn’t qualify for that program but they said we’re going to let me come stay anyways. This was before Faith House. It was emergency program and I didn’t meet the criteria to stay there but I feel like God was moving in the hearts of the ladies that I talked to and they said we’re going to let you stay. And so through that I was able to have time to just go through the process with the main house. And it was it was just wonderful how the Lord worked it out. Not what I envisioned but it was definitely awesome.
So for the listener there and for myself really what I am inferring but I don’t know if you haven’t said it is that this is like you’re homeless.
Yeah. Homeless.
So I set my children to live with their father. I’ve never been separated from my kids. I was a stay-at-home mom and even when I started working it was just me and them. I didn’t know what to do with myself but it was so necessary. The Lord gave me that time to just draw closer to him.
And at what point did the kids go live with their father.
About three months before I left the relationship and four months before I went to the faith house.
The unstableness I felt was from the arguments that we were given. It’s just like someone who was wounded from the past and someone who was wounded from the present and the past. So it’s just like so it’s just a cycle like we’re two hurting people with logical reasons. You know with each other. And we don’t know how to get to a place of healing.
And you know with it was that shame for me that kept me from God. And I believe for him it was just the pain of the church and seeing the world and the world is so broken.
And sometimes he would say something that would trigger me because of the past the marriage and my kids would be there and I would be the one to just say something in front of the kids. And you know then it’s just like these heightened this tension and it just made the kids uncomfortable.
So the kids are with their father. You are looking at a situation that is that you need to make a change. How did you come to the decision and the understanding that leaving that situation in some ways look like going from the frying pan to the fire. The fire looks so much better than the frying pan at one point. I just I just the Lord was able to get me to a certain point where I just surrendered.
Just like every which way I try to solve it. I try to make it right. I try to be more calm a better listener and just like things just I just can’t make this person forgive me. I can’t make this person better. I can’t make this relationship right. And I’m like and how could I because you’re not involved. And I just remember the holiness and the purity and the truth of the Lord. I’m just like I know I got to a point and then three months later but three months prior to me leaving I said Lord I know I’m not living right.
But your word says that you do not turn your face away from those who seek you. And that was all I needed.
I’m working out and I’ve seen such beauty happen for my obedience. I see a man who didn’t want anything to do with the church get saved. He got saved just out of my obedience.
Is there anything too hard for the Lord? I see restoration in my children’s hearts. And it just feels so kind. I know that my life doesn’t look like what I thought it would be 10 years ago—you know married with children staying at home.
So you have left an unhealthy relationship and a promise of God that you will take care of. You have no idea where you’re going to sleep the next night and you don’t know how you’re going to get from where you are into a place of security.
I really stepped on on Faith not knowing where I was going to go. I’m having some ideas having some people to call some programs to call. But you know everything was up in the air. But walking on faith. I knew that eventually I would be coming back to Faith House. I just knew. And it was the perfect place to go. Being faith based is so so important. And I feel like so many women who even you know so many different walks of life come into these doors whether it’s for oh I want something that’s faith based. I want to grow my relationship with Christ or oh I just need somewhere to be. You know I see the way these women’s lives are changed. So coming here and going to the main house. I actually miss it—the busyness of it. The support. The children the laughter and giggles and all of that. It’s so beautiful and it really they make it such a whole me feeling and it feels like family. It feels like safety.
You know whether they’re just starting their journey with the Lord or they’re more you know more mature in their faith. I was able to take different lessons and appreciate those and just it really just edified me and built me up and I’ve made sisters. My children have sweet dear friends.
So you completed the thriving future.
Yes.
And you were able to come over to the transitional living program. So tell us a little bit about that that just for my education. But what point did the kids come back.
The kids came back once the divorce was finalized. And I was able to come back because they finished because we were we were separated for quite some years. But I just got it done and over with. There was there was no hope. You know he’s got girlfriend baby.
That was appealing for your next step. Like you finished your time in the therapy features program in the house. And you know now it’s time for the next thing. And when you considered your options what were your options. And what was it that put the transitional living program.
It wasn’t under anyone else’s name. This is me Riley and Olivia. This was ours. Man it’s been really hard to hold together. Thank you Lord Jesus.
You’re working a stable job. You’re working a good job.
Yeah.
And yet the options in Frederick County. For how. Like what are you what are you looking at when it looks like. Because you. You’re doing the right things. That’s what I want people to understand. You are doing the right things. To provide for your family.
And yet. There is a big gap between wages and housing. And Frederick and you know just in the economy in general everything is going up. So you’re looking at like something. I could probably afford a three bedroom house maybe like 10 years ago for me and my kids on my own. But now. It’s really hard to even get a one bedroom apartment. You know how and be able to take care of myself one or two kids. It’s very limited. And there’s a lot of people in need when it comes to like housing programs. So the wait list is long.
And I have to worry about where they’re going to stay. You know because there is the emergency shelter the main house and then there’s the apartments which you can do for 12 months. And then up to six months month to month. So it’s really nice to be able to have that in between. I have not heard of anything like this program. So it’s very unique. It’s very special and it’s definitely ordained by the Lord.
Tell us just briefly about that and then how your mind changed and what it was that brought you to say I want the kids with me.
Although I enjoyed the time that I was having the space. I always knew that I it just was it wouldn’t I was meant to be a mom. I was meant to be their mom and I was given this gift and this privilege and this honor to be their mom. And I want to be involved and I want to see them every day and I want to raise them into children who know and love the Lord. And I knew that the Lord had planned for me to be that mother to them for them. And so I always knew that OK. We’re going to continue.
But I knew some of the obstacles that we might may or may not face trying to do that. But the Lord was so faithful and he made everything so smooth. He let everything go so smoothly and he stopped in the heart of my ex-husband and he said I’ll give her whatever she asked for everything she asked for.
We’re doing such a great job and just growing really with each other. But in such a beautiful way in the Lord. I see my son who loves his dad is so you know that experience was amazing for him. I haven’t seen him in that in that in that way for years.
So back we’ve talked about the backstory. Now let’s talk about the futures. I mean the transition. Excuse me. So we call it the emergency program. We’ve renamed it the main house.
Yeah.
So a day in the life of living in a transitional program in the apartments with my kids. We wake up. We brush our teeth. We do all that fun stuff. We get ourselves ready for the day. We eat our breakfast. Lunches are packed. All that stuff. So we get a little time into it just for mom to pray over all of us and just chat before we go. And then we head off this summer. We headed off to camp and work and my father was actually just moved into the area. So he’s been such a great help. And then I’ve had sisters from the church just an overflow of blessings just you know getting us to and from. But we’ll come home. We’re able to just relax. Just 15 minutes before dinner has to be made if I don’t prepare it already.
But during that time while dinner is cooking in the oven we’re able we really love and enjoy just spending time with each other and doing board games or reading scripture. And then I ask the questions and to get them thinking and stuff like that. And thank goodness the Bible I got for my son has all those questions.
We get to play games and eat dinner together and it’s just quiet. And sometimes we have movie nights.
They actually I got them on the pure flicks and they’re watching an amazing show together. And it’s just it just gives us time like to just do things our own way and have our own rhythm routine and you know not have to worry about others and be more considerate. Yeah so it’s just been a lot of growing closer in our relationship with one another and with the Lord.
I love how this program, the staff really works with you. Tina, she is just amazing at what she does. She is like the resource queen, whether it’s childcare or jobs or just planning out your finances. She is very on top of that stuff. So, with this program, not only there’s an incentive every month that they save a bit of money each month as you meet the requirements, check things off. You’re keeping your space clean and homey and things like that, you get an incentive. So, at the end, you are able to have something saved up. They’ll save up a maximum of $1,200 for you to have for your next step. And then also encouraging you in the meantime to save what you can as you work and just going through budgeting and hey, this is what you can spend for free money and it’s very limited, but it’s really, really awesome to be able to have someone walk alongside you in these things, just being wise and a good steward of what you have.
And so, what I’m looking forward to is just the next transitions and like different types of programs they have in the wait lists, we’re already on those. And so, and even if that isn’t the direction that the Lord wants to take me, I will be able, I know and I trust in the way that we are,
I’m stewarding my finances and I’m getting help with that, that I’ll be able to afford something outside of a program for me and my children.
The program has provided a lot of stability, not just physically, but emotionally too, to be able, just setting the environment for us to feel seen, feel heard, and feel encouraged to accomplish those things we felt like we couldn’t accomplish. So in that, we have our weekly or biweekly meetings with a team just to see where we’re at in all different categories, and it helps us to keep ourselves accountable, especially when it comes to finances, because this is such a blessing, this program that we don’t have to pay as much as we would in renting an apartment or a house. So we are able to have a little bit more flexibility with our finances, but being encouraged to save and feel like we’re doing something good for ourselves and our families. So yeah, that’s one of the biggest helps because a lot of us come in this not knowing how to manage our finances.
I dream about owning a little bit of land, a cute little house, nothing too big, like with a little bit of land and being able to provide for my kids and doing that at home, having a garden, fruits and vegetables because we love nutrition and some chickens. That is my dream, a garden to nurture us, to harvest that and to raise chickens and live off of the eggs and things like that and being able to provide for them in a way and also just show them the beauty of life and show them the beauty of waiting on the Lord and how to really love him and trust him with little or big.
My daughter talks about the Lord a lot. Very special little girl. I started introducing the Lord when I first got saved. I think my daughter was about three years old and I remember the first time I was worshiping. It was just what I got in the rhythm of doing in the morning in our routine prior to moving here, but I would worship. And one day she just started singing. I bawled my eyes out like, wow. And she asked questions about the Lord and she can articulate the word, the way Mommy describes it to her.
And now her being six almost seven and now Mommy being a lot deeper in her relationship with the Lord. She’ll just say certain things and ask questions for deeper understanding. And it’s not, oh, we just read the Bible. It’s just like when she gets up in the morning when we’re eating a meal, well, how does God do this? Or, you know, Riley did this and I know Mommy that you said that Jesus said that we have to walk in love.
My walk has encouraged them to seek the Lord when it comes to relationships and healthy communication and dialogue with one another. And not being afraid to express how they’re feeling, but always being open to the correction of the Lord and just submitting themselves to that.
It is a beautiful thing. I love it. And they remind me so much of how the Lord said that we should be, we should come to Him as little children. And so they’ve inspired my walk as much as mine has inspired them.
My family is my family and the Lord loves them. But boundaries had to be set in place and I had to separate myself from my family while, but through all the craziness, through all the not really walking in the Lord things, I can say that He has always looked out for me even when He wasn’t able to love me like the Lord does, like Christ. That’s what it is. Love your wife as you love Christ. That’s Christ love the church.
And so I just focused on the Lord. My eyes were on Him and it was hard. It was really hard. And there was just walking in the heartache with the Lord was new. But I did that. He gave me the ability, the grace and the wisdom and the strength to do that with Him. And no words from me.
And it’s just encouraging in my faith and just what my job is as a believer to walk with boldness and share the gospel with people no matter how I feel, if I’m scared or feel a little timid or feel like they might reject me, it’s just do what you’re told, obey the Lord, because He’s good.
